Ruminations on Autumn
The changing of the seasons is in full swing. From hot and hotter summer to crisp and cool autumn… and before we get to the cold rainy weather of winter. I love this time of year, in particular. Yes, for all the same reasons as many others, the beauty of fall foliage changing to vibrant red and yellow and orange tones, the crisp chill in the air that signals time for sweaters and scarves, the emergence of flavors like cloves, cinnamon, and pumpkin everywhere you look. I also love it because it always hits me as the perfect time to reflect on what is important to you and where you want to go in your future. It is not an existential question, but just something that always seems to pop into my thoughts more often in the fall. Maybe it has to do with back-to-school season, and the return of that routine after a summer of lazy warm nights, and breezy beach days.
Whatever the reason, I am taking the opportunity this year to get a jump on making a resolution for the coming year. Actually, it is more of a goal setting than a resolution. I really want to get my knitting and crafts side hustle off the ground. I want to focus on getting my products out there into the world and developing new ones along the way.
As a knitter I started out in my late teens/early twenties. I bought a kit at a craft store and taught myself to knit. I quickly fell in love with the hobby and moved on to bigger and harder patterns and stiches. From cardigans to pullovers, to socks and gloves. I have tried it all. Knitting from the patterns of others. My goal for the next year is to begin to branch out those skills and modify and create patterns myself. The hardest part of any journey is getting past the fear of doing something new, the fear of failing at that something. Fear of failure has always been a companion of mine. It’s like a weight on your shoulders, like a voice whispering in your ears…
“You can’t do this any better than anyone else. What makes you think you’re so special. No one cares what you think, or feel, or is interested in what you can create. They are all going to laugh at you, or worse…not even notice you at all.”
I am tired of listening to that voice or giving it any power over my choices and my beliefs in my own abilities or worth in this world. It’s an insidious voice, waiting for me to let down my guard against it, and then sneakily inciting all my insecurities at once.
Maybe you can relate?
One thing I have learned as I have gotten older is that insecurity is one of the truly universal emotions. I am so glad that as a society we are becoming more and more open about voicing our own struggles and sharing with each other that these types of self-destructive beliefs and habits. Together we truly are stronger, and no one is alone in feeling alone in this world.
I am restarting my blog, albeit with a new name. As I no longer live in an RV – and don’t ever want to again. That was an “adventure” that I am glad to leave behind me. My goal is to post no less frequently than monthly. I will be sharing my current knitting projects, opening up to you about the daily challenges as a mom (single and divorced from their dad), sharing my tips and recommendations for a life well lived.
I do hope you’ll come along with me… join me in my journey to build a community. I invite you to share your current favorite things, crafting obsessions, tv shows, fashion trends, mom hacks, mom fails, etc.
Happy autumn everybody!